It's paradoxical, isn't it? In order to have faith you must believe, but to believe you must have faith.
From the outside it can seem impossible, but from the inside it can be as easy as breathing.
You're either in or you're out. It's not that simple though, and thankfully so. I think it is more of an attitude, a heart and mindset, a choice. Sure, it may seem impossible to have faith when you simply don't, but you choose to believe and the faith comes from that. It is much easier on the inside, where it is just maintaining that belief to upkeep the faith.On a regular basis, usually when sharing my journey or beliefs, I have someone question me on my faith. What if things don't work out for you? What if you don't get married? What if something happens? How do you have faith in that? How could you believe that? I have my faith questioned on a regular basis, and it is not uncommon for someone to try and tell me my beliefs are wrong and that I should settle on believing something else. That simply isn't an option for me. I have made my choices, and I choose them again every day. I won't lie and say that it's always easy. Some days I feel so horribly far from faith, from peace, from joy, but it is on those days that it matters most what I do. There are these days when I feel empty and hopeless, I think we all have them, but there are also days when I feel as if I can do anything. On those days I am unconquerable, not because I am infallible, but because my heart cannot be defeated. If only I could truly explain to you what faith brings. It is something that cannot be done true justice through words alone. It must be experienced to understand the true splendour of it. Out of that faith is birthed both incredible joy and serenity.
My faith can stand strong and firm because it is rooted in God. I am not one to talk about my spiritual beliefs much outside of a church context unless someone brings it up, as I prefer to let my life speak for me instead of forcing my beliefs on another, but in this case I think I need to explain myself better. I can have extreme, unwavering faith in things because I believe in the all-powerful God. I anchor myself in Christ and let everything come out of that. It is because of God that I can be fearless in my faith, believing that no matter what happens I can trust in God and His word. Recently I was asked what I enjoy most about my faith, and the answer is simple: my relationship with God. If you share that with me in some way you know that there is nothing to compare it to. No one gets you, loves you, and provides for you like God does. Out of that flows such incredible things. As you place your faith in Him and put Him in the centre of your life you'll see how He blesses you innumerably and conquers all that could ever trouble you.
"We fight from victory, not for victory."
A phrase that has really stuck with me is this one I heard a while back. That is exactly it for me. I do not fight in pursuit of winning. In faith, with God, I have already won. It changes everything, when you look at something in faith, knowing that the battle has already been won. That is how I have faith, because my faith is in Christ. I can stand strong and believe when everything around me is telling me otherwise because I know that God's word is law and that He is king of all.
Over the past few years I have been on an incredible journey. Over the past few months I have been challenged, stretched, and blessed in ways I didn't think possible. I could not truly describe all I have experienced. It has been breath-taking. When you're on the inside it is almost difficult to not believe and have faith. I have had my socks blown off by God's goodness more than a few times. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I do not know where to even begin... Now that I have experienced His goodness like I have I cannot help but believe and have faith. He has been with me every step of the way, through thick and thin, and I trust Him with my very being. It is out of that that I have faith in the future, in what is to come. I have faith in His word, in His promises, and in His guidance.
When your heart is after Him everything else pales in comparison. Even huge mountains begin to look insignificant. That is not to say that there are not times when you struggle and pain, but with a heart after His own there is comfort and peace through it all. I personally struggle with seeing others struggle and letting things be. I am a fighter by nature, although I think that is changing to some degree as I get closer to Him, but I think that when you do something out of a heart for God it changes things. It makes you better, stronger, and wiser than you could ever be in your own capacity and interests.
I have faith. I believe that, because of Him, life is good. I believe that one day I will have the life I dream and pray for, just as He has already provided for me and blessed me.
I have faith.
Jem.
