Orando et Laborando

Have you ever felt completely helpless and powerless? I have, and it really gets to me. Growing up one of the biggest things I struggled with internally was being still. I struggled immensely with impulsivity and restlessness; I was always on the go, often not thinking through what I was doing. When an unpleasant situation came around I wouldn't think twice to leap at doing something, anything, to fix it. Then came the situations that I could not fix. You cannot talk cancer away or tell death to return a loved one. I struggled so much in these situations, and because of my nature I found myself doing things, things that were detrimental in the end, simply because I wanted to do something to help. 

As I continued to grow it got worse. Not only was I detrimental in tough situations I couldn't help, but I also became much more impulsive. It cost me beyond what I think I was even able to comprehend back then. If everything I do is simply a reflex am I even my own person? I didn't feel like it. I felt imprisoned within my own body and mind. 

Then things changed. I changed, and something inside of me shifted. I was beyond done with letting anything define my life and so I took a stand and devoted most of my focus to mastering my mind and controlling my body. My journey with God helped me to see that while I myself was powerless in many situations on my own, with Him nothing is impossible. 

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

And so it happened that while in boarding school I can across the latin phrase 'orando et laborando'. It was actually my school motto, although few of us know what it truly meant. One day a parent asked me what it was a what it meant. I had no answer for them as I knew nothing of it either. It sparked my interest though and I began to learn more about the phrase and its origin. Roughly translated into English it can be read as 'working and praying' or 'through work and prayer'. It spoke to me so strongly, my thoughts directly in a beautiful piece of latin.

While the direct translation is 'through work and prayer' it has such a deeper meaning if you'll only open your eyes to it. It spoke right into my heart, right into my struggle. It means that there are two ways to do things, though often incorporated because of the chaos that is life. You can either work at something directly or you can pray on it and ask God to work on your behalf. There are situations where you do not need God's direct intervention because He has already blessed you to be able to do such things. There are situations where you need God's help to do something, His guidance and strength to navigate through it. Then there are situations where you are simply powerless, on your own you can do nothing but be overwhelmed. These are the situations when all you can do is pray, and pray like there is no tomorrow. For me there are only three types of situations, these three, and this beautiful latin phrase helped me to put into words what I already knew and believed.

This is one of my very first tattoos, one of my favourites. I have it on my wrist to both remind me and symbolise that there are some things that I can do and there are some thing things that only God can do (and I can do with Him, through prayer).

Jem.