It has been months since I last wrote, since I last posted. That is in large part due to a massive shift in my life that reduced the desire for me to blog. I may go more into that later, but over the past few months I have found no solace in writing as my life has been very busy, and I have been focused elsewhere. There is so much more to it, but not now.
The reason for this return is simple, grief. Over a year ago we lost a dear friend and brother. I cannot truly express my struggle at his passing, but it has been a difficult journey dealing with it all. It is many months later, life has moved on, and yet I sometimes find myself stuck. How different the world would have been with him? Death is unavoidable, but at the end, when life has been lived, not at the beginning, when it has barely begun.
I still have little true desire and passion to write, but I seek its solace all the same. Brother, you are so dearly missed. It curdles my heart and mind to give thought to all that has been lost, all the injustice. Perhaps this will spark my return to writing, but to be honest I desire to be left unknown and alone the majority of the world, I do not trust or enjoy most people all that much anymore. This is mainly in reference to a handful of people, and I think I can feel that changing this year as I truly deal with it.
Much is yet to come, and I may write on, but for the moment I am content to just be.
Ave Atque Vale, brother.
